Challenging the Timeline of Life
When does life’s timeline alter to fit our own needs? When are we able to make changes that stray from the narrative? We are constantly told by outsiders how to live our lives. This timeline then makes us wage our worths against one another.
As I have grown up, there has always been this unspoken rule of when things in life should be done. Finish school, get married, have kids, and the list continues. But who said that was the ideal situation for everyone? Why are we forced to meet these unrealistic expectations that others set before we were even ready to make any decisions in life?
Finding this point in understanding myself has shown me that the expectations of others are not as important as I believed them to be. Understanding that timeframes and order work for some, but not all, was what allowed me to realize that I could make my own timeline and follow what was best for me.
Finding myself back in school, planning a wedding, and still processing a global pandemic is not what I thought I would still be doing in 2022. When I graduated with my Master’s in 2019, I thought, “this is it”; I had completed the final steps of attending school and my goals of education. I was exactly where I was supposed to be. Then came 2020, and the reality of my dreams went out the window as most of us began to process what the new “normal” would be. The stillness I had found in my life allowed me to reconnect with my ideal plan. I saw that I was not complete and would only find that sense of completion in returning to school and finally accomplishing my goals to achieve my full potential. I continued to extend this into my life and saw I was growing in my relationships and moving forward, choosing to combine our families into one.
All these decisions did not come easy or lightly, all because I was comparing my age to the timeline of life and seeing if these choices would get me to where I was “supposed” to be. Was I supposed to return to school in my late 20s, and was I supposed to be getting married simultaneously? Could this halt my experiences throughout life and place a hold on creating a family? All these questions flooded my thoughts as I processed these set expectations and evaluated how they fit me.
I had to stop and remind myself that pre-set expectations made me question when and how I accomplished my life goals. No one else around me was bringing about an ounce of concern. They encouraged me throughout each decision. Once I stopped allowing my insecurities and anxieties to control the narrative, I could see that it did not matter when I chose to go back to school or get married. The only thing that mattered was my happiness and comfort in my decisions.
I hope this reminder that served me serves you as well: to live life how and when it works for you. Make a timeline that aligns with your wants and needs. Go back to school in your 40s, change careers when your needs are no longer being met, and have kids when and if you want to. Allow yourself to move through life the best way possible and live it to the fullest. Stop prescribing to the expectations set in front of you and feel the weight of those expectations fall as you embark on your next journey. And remember, you are not behind, we are all just following our own timelines.
